Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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