Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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