Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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