Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
