you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
NoShamevember. You game?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
