Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
