Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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