I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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