he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
