Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
