Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
