i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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