your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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