i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
