Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
