When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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