The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
