She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
