Cold hands, warm shart.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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