He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Drake has all the answers
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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