Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
