told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We left the knife in your bed.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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