I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
