He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
