we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Randomize
