i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize