Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
