just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
