she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize