I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
