i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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