Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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