I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
