I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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