a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
