I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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