i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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