it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
