I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
