somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
