Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
