They should really pass out barf bags in church
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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