The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
