If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
