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Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
