it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
