She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
