Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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