Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I want to be your penis for a week.
50% drunk capacity currently
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
