So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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