Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
