too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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