Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
