I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
