kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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