This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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