people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
