I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Two words: nipple clamps
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