some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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