In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
