dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
