If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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