She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
