beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My life is pants optional.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
