At least make sure they are 18
Why
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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